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Aerial photo of Heathrow airport, 1955
The National
Archives UK - Heathrow StarOur Cat ref: BT 219/115
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Last week I passed through one of those strange distorted worlds on the edge of space-time: an airport. Distorted because they exaggerate some aspects of life and make others disappear. Take your identity – you are either a potential security risk (when you arrive) or a conspicuous consumer (once through the gates). There’s not much middle ground.
For example, at Malaga airport as soon as you have put your creams, liquids and gels back in your bag you are greeted by the (presumably) surgically-enhanced breasts on a giant-sized Victoria’s Secret model pictured outside the lingerie shop bang on the other side of the barrier, before having to walk the sparkly floor of the perfume mall.
There’s not much sign of organic life there, unless you
count the lettuce in the bocadillos or the sparrows hopping among the tables
(how did they get in? Will they ever get out?).
Dimensions are also distorted at airports. Tempers are
shorter (or mine is at least – not sure why, maybe it’s constantly being told
what to do, combined with tiredness). People seem fatter. Prices are about three
times higher.
So how would I improve them? Book exchange? No – can’t leave
unattended objects. Public pianos, like at St Pancras? Not with a captive
audience – you can’t walk away if you don’t like the music, as at a station. Free
language-learning apps to get a few phrases for your destination? You can
already get them – Busuu, say, which actually has an option for travel language, or Duolingo. Nooks where you can sit, un-advertised at?
There are some, usually those large window ledges but also at the departure
gates. More greenery? Yes, I think so. Stand-up computer display booths with
info about local wildlife and culture? Yes, why not – just something
uncommercial!
Maybe feeling like an item on a conveyor belt is the price
to be paid for efficient, cheap international travel. The logistics behind managing
an airport are incredible. And airports have to pay their way somehow. You don’t
have to buy anything, after all. Still, I wouldn’t mind a few more plants –
maybe even scented ones, to compete with the clouds of synthetic scent to be
navigated at the beginning of every trip.
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Malaga airport ©2015 AirMalaga.com
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